There are times in life when you just… stop seeing yourself.
You go through something—heartbreak, burnout, a rough season—and suddenly the kind, confident version of you feels really far away. You start second-guessing everything. You look in the mirror and barely recognize the girl staring back. And worst of all? You kinda forget what it feels like to LIKE yourself, let alone LOVE yourself.
I’ve been there. More than once, honestly.
And what I’ve learned is this: loving yourself again isn’t some big magical moment. It’s a bunch of tiny, quiet choices that slowly bring you back to YOU.
It’s choosing rest over guilt. Speaking gently to yourself when no one’s around. Doing one small thing today that says, “Hey, I still matter.”
So if you’ve been feeling disconnected or just a little lost in your own skin, this list is for you. No fluff. No perfection. Just 20 self-love ideas that feel GOOD, even on your hardest days.
What if loving yourself again starts with the way you show up for yourself TODAY—right now, as you are?
1. Speak to yourself like someone you care about
Sounds simple, but let’s be honest—most of us talk to ourselves like total jerks. You make a small mistake and suddenly it’s “Ugh, I’m so stupid” or “Why can’t I get it together?”
You would NEVER talk to someone you love like that. So why is it okay to talk to yourself that way?
Here’s what changed things for me: I started imagining my inner voice was talking to my best friend—or my younger self. Would I say, “You’re such a mess” to 10-year-old me? Not a chance. I’d probably say something like, “Hey, that was hard… but you’re doing your best.”
So try this: catch yourself in the moment and pause. Then ask, “What would I say to someone I love right now?” And say that—to yourself.
It feels weird at first. Then it feels like healing.
You might also like: 160 Short Positive Daily Affirmations
2. Revisit something you used to love doing as a kid
You know that thing you were obsessed with when you were little?
Drawing horses, building forts, collecting stickers, choreographing dances in your room—whatever it was…
THAT version of you didn’t care about being productive or impressive. She just loved it because it made her feel alive.
Doing something purely for joy—no goals, no pressure—can reconnect you to a part of yourself that’s still in there. And yes, it might feel silly at first. That’s kind of the point.
Recreate an old favorite moment. Play. Laugh. Let yourself be a little ridiculous. Because that’s self-love too—letting yourself be fully YOU without judgment.
3. Celebrate the tiny wins
You got out of bed on a hard day? That’s a win. You drank water before coffee? Huge win. You didn’t text the person you know you shouldn’t text? LEGENDARY.
We live in a world that celebrates big, flashy success—but loving yourself starts by noticing the quiet victories. The choices no one claps for but still matter.
Start saying it out loud: “I’m proud of myself for that.” Write it down. Do a little victory dance in the kitchen. Because when you start cheering for yourself, something shifts. You stop waiting for someone else to validate you. You realize you were worthy all along.
4. Say no without explaining yourself
This one? HARD.
Especially if you’re a chronic people-pleaser (hi, I see you).
But sometimes the most loving thing you can do is say, “No, that doesn’t work for me”—and leave it at that.
You don’t need a five-paragraph excuse or a guilt-ridden follow-up text. Your time, energy, and peace are valid reasons on their own.
Saying no is a way of saying yes to yourself.
Yes to your rest. Yes to your boundaries. Yes to your healing. And the more you do it, the easier it gets.
5. Set a boundary and keep it
It could be tiny. Like not checking emails after 7 p.m. Or not answering calls from someone who drains your energy.
Whatever it is, set one boundary today that protects your peace—and stick with it.
Here’s the secret: boundaries aren’t about pushing people away. They’re about choosing YOU. Your mental health. Your safety. Your space.
And keeping that promise to yourself builds self-trust, which is the real foundation of self-love.
You teach yourself you’re worth protecting. And that lesson changes everything.
You might also like: How to Set Boundaries Like a Successful Woman
6. Move your body in a way that feels GOOd
Forget the “burn 500 calories” mindset. Forget trying to earn your food or shrink yourself. This isn’t about punishment—it’s about pleasure.
Your body deserves movement that feels joyful, freeing, maybe even a little silly.
Go for a walk and blast music. Stretch in your pajamas. Dance like no one’s watching (because truly, no one is).
Try something just because it looks fun—not because it’s “effective.”
When you move from a place of love instead of shame, something shifts. You’re not trying to fix your body—you’re finally listening to it. And THAT is what loving yourself in motion looks like.
7. Eat what makes you feel good
Not “clean.” Not “perfect.” Just… good.
That means paying attention to what your body actually wants—not what the latest food trend says. Sometimes that’s a colorful salad. Sometimes it’s mac and cheese in your comfiest sweatpants.
Both are valid. Both can be loving.
You don’t have to earn your meals. You don’t need to justify your cravings. What you eat doesn’t define your worth—it’s just one more way you can take care of yourself.
Feed yourself like someone who deserves to feel nourished. Because you do.
8. Take a guilt-free nap
You’re not lazy. You’re not behind. You’re just tired—and RESTING IS ALLOWED.
We’ve been trained to believe that rest has to be earned, but here’s the truth: your body doesn’t care how productive your morning was—it just knows it needs a break.
So close your eyes. Set your phone down. Crawl under a blanket in the middle of the day if you need to. The dishes can wait. Your inbox can wait.
Right now, your nervous system needs a second to BREATHE.
Choosing rest is choosing yourself. And THAT is real self-love.
9. Wear something that feels like YOU
Not what’s trendy. Not what you think you’re supposed to wear.
Just something that makes you feel like the version of yourself you actually like.
Maybe it’s a hoodie that’s three sizes too big. Maybe it’s lipstick on a random Tuesday. Maybe it’s your favorite worn-out tee from college.
Whatever it is, if it makes you feel safe, bold, soft, confident—or ALL of the above—put it on.
Forget trying to impress anyone else. This is about YOU feeling good in your own skin. And sometimes, the right outfit can remind you that YOU STILL EXIST under all the overthinking.
Wear what makes you feel alive. That’s self-love too.
10. Make a list of things you like about yourself
Not what others like. Not what you should like. Just your own quiet little favorites.
Maybe it’s the way you always remember people’s birthdays.
The fact that you laugh at your own jokes. Or how your eyes crinkle when you smile.
Self-love starts with self-noticing. And when you start naming the things that make you you, you slowly start seeing yourself with softer eyes.
So grab a notebook and start a list. Add one thing each day. Reread it often.
It might feel awkward at first—but over time, it becomes a reminder: YOU ARE ALREADY WORTH LOVING.
You might also like: 101 Real Things To Be Grateful For
11. Unfollow anyone who makes you feel “less than”
You don’t owe your feed to anyone—not influencers, not old classmates, not even that girl from high school who somehow has six abs and a perfect pantry.
If you scroll past someone and immediately feel smaller, behind, or just not good enough… that’s your cue.
Hit unfollow. Mute. Clear it out.
Protecting your peace online IS self-love.
Because every time you choose to see more of what uplifts you—and less of what drains you—you’re saying: “MY MENTAL HEALTH MATTERS MORE THAN AESTHETICS.”
And honestly? That choice feels really good.
12. Do nothing for 10 minutes
Not scroll. Not tidy up. Not squeeze in “just one more thing.” Literally do NOTHING.
Sit. Breathe. Stare at the ceiling. Sip your tea. Let your brain be quiet for once.
It might feel awkward at first, like you’re “wasting time.”
But honestly? This might be the most productive thing you do all day.
Because when you give yourself permission to pause, without guilt or distraction, you’re saying, “I don’t have to earn rest or stillness—I’m allowed to just BE.”
And THAT is what healing starts to sound like.
13. Write a letter to your past self
Pick an age—any age. Maybe 10. Maybe 16. Maybe last year.
And then write to that version of you like she’s sitting right next to you, waiting to hear that she’s okay.
Tell her what you know now. What she made it through. What you’re proud of her for.
Let her know she was never too much, too sensitive, or too lost. She was just growing.
This isn’t about being poetic—it’s about being real. Because when you speak to the version of you that struggled, you start to soften toward the one who’s still healing.
And sometimes, the most powerful way to love yourself NOW is to finally love who you used to be.
14. Make a self-love playlist
You know those songs that make you feel like you can take on the world?
Or cry in the best possible way?
Or strut around your kitchen like it’s a runway?
Put them ALL in one playlist.
Call it “Main Character Energy” or “Healing in Progress” or “Songs That Remind Me I’m Enough.” Whatever makes you smile when you see it. Then play it LOUD—when you’re getting ready, when you’re feeling low, or just because.
Music shifts your energy fast. And when your playlist reflects love instead of comparison, empowerment instead of pressure—your whole vibe changes.
15. Forgive yourself for something old
We all carry things.
A moment we regret.
A version of ourselves we wish we could redo.
Maybe it’s something you said, didn’t say, did, or didn’t do. And it just… lingers. Quiet, but heavy.
But here’s the truth: you don’t have to keep punishing yourself to prove you’ve changed. Growth already means you’ve outloved that version of you.
So say it—out loud if you need to:
“I forgive myself. I did the best I could with what I had.”
It might not fix everything instantly, but it opens the door. And sometimes, forgiveness is the exact kind of love we’ve been waiting to give ourselves.
You might also like: 25 Negative Things To Let Go For A Happier Life
16. Try something new just because it looks fun
Not because it’s productive. Not because you need a new skill. Just because it makes you curious—or smile.
Paint something even if it turns out weird. Take that dance class. Try rollerskating again. Buy the neon puzzle.
Let fun be the whole point.
Joy is medicine. And when you stop measuring your worth by how useful or impressive something is, you make room for lightness to come back in.
Loving yourself means letting yourself have a little fun again—without needing a reason.
17. Let go of one expectation that’s been weighing on you
You know the one. That pressure to have it all figured out by a certain age.
To always be “on.” To look a certain way, act a certain way, be everything for everyone.
It’s exhausting. And it’s not love—it’s survival mode.
So here’s a tiny rebellion: pick one expectation and let it go. Just… release it. Whisper, “I’m done carrying this,” and mean it. It doesn’t mean you’re giving up—it means you’re finally choosing what actually matters to you.
Self-love doesn’t always look like action. Sometimes, it looks like release.
18. Talk to yourself kindly when you mess up
Because you will mess up.
You’ll forget something. Say the wrong thing. Skip the gym. Lose your cool.
That doesn’t mean you’re broken—it means you’re human.
And in those moments, what you say to yourself matters MORE than ever.
Try this instead of spiraling:
“It’s okay. I made a mistake. I’m still learning. I’m still worthy.”
That’s not letting yourself off the hook—it’s choosing compassion over shame.
You can hold yourself accountable AND still be kind. That’s real growth. That’s real love.
19. Do something solo
Go to a café with a book. Take yourself out to lunch. Wander a bookstore. Sit at the park with your favorite snack.
No phone. No distraction. Just you, being with you.
It might feel awkward at first—but honestly, it’s kind of magical. You start to realize you don’t need to be “on” to be worthy of time and attention—not even your own.
Spending time alone isn’t lonely—it’s intimacy. With yourself.
And learning to enjoy your own presence? That’s a quiet kind of love that grows deep.
20. Say it out loud: I’M DOING MY BEST
Seriously—say it. Not just in your head. OUT LOUD. RIGHT NOW.
“I’M DOING MY BEST.”
Because you ARE.
Even if it doesn’t look like anyone else’s version of success. Even if your to-do list is untouched. Even if today felt messy, slow, or off.
Self-love isn’t about always doing more. Sometimes, it’s about pausing long enough to realize, “I’m trying—and that counts.”
You’re showing up. You’re growing. You’re doing what you can.
And THAT is something to be proud of!